Cherish

February 14th

Tabitha — Mon, 16 Jan 2012 17:09:10 +0000

although a month can be a long time, and yes i am just a tad crazy, valentine’s is right around the corner. as a single-seeking-a-relationship, this time of year, along with many others, brings some sharp loneliness and resentment. actually i think those words are too harsh, but i’m too tired to correct my thoughts. what is this post about? i don’t want a group date for valentine’s. i feel like the men of our small group try to celebrate and care for the women, but i feel like it’s patronizing. am i just being a spoiled snob? i don’t know. i think i’ll have to see when the time is closer, but at this very moment i don’t want a group date. i would rather go out for dinner by myself. forgive me, i’m being mellow dramatic. oh woe am i. (to preface this post, i got a small scratch on my hand and starting screaming to the world for sympathy, but no one cared, and i was like ‘oh’ and put in my place.) woe am i indeed. (not actually.)

Spiritual Leadership

Tabitha — Sun, 15 Jan 2012 08:22:02 +0000

i don’t want to be the person leading spiritually in a relationship. good looks, charm, and physical intimacy will only satisfy my initial cravings for a significant other. but i’m looking for more. i suppose it’s good that guys take their time in making moves, because now i feel like i have time to sift through thoughts and ask all those “what if..” questions with friends. he’s cute… you know? i think you can empathize. i don’t know what to do anymore. so tired of this game and it has barely even begun. can someone sign me up for an arranged marriage?

Time and Effort

Tabitha — Sat, 14 Jan 2012 05:23:37 +0000

i’m so sad that over time, i’ve getting less and less intentional about blogging. i think you see a lot of posts over weekends or holidays, but it’s so crazy tiring during weekdays.

quick updates:

flying to toronto on wednesday. will be in town for a week and a half
staying at my school for another year. hopefully they’ll transfer me to the math department
i’m tired
there’s a boy that i’ve been flirting with and i’m semi-certain that he’s flirting back

Limiting

Tabitha — Sun, 08 Jan 2012 08:26:11 +0000

God limits Himself and trusts us with the Great Commission.

as part of the sermon this morning, my pastor explained the truth that God doesn’t need our help in missions. we don’t have to go to hong kong to reach the lost. we don’t have to go to unreached people to reach them. God could reveal Himself to the world and draw everyone to Himself purely based on Him. His glory, His beauty, His character – people would become Christians without sending missionaries. however, God chooses to limit Himself in this way to trust us with the Gospel, trusting that we will spread the Good News.

it might seem strange, but what grace! through living out missions and “going on” missions (there seems to be the mindset that missions is going somewhere, but you can be and are a missionary where you are too.) my faith has grown. my salvation is being worked out (sanctification). missions has grown my understanding of the Gospel and built community back home (through prayer teams) and wherever i am. living out a missional life is a gift from God. this morning was a great reminder.

Magical (v2)

Tabitha — Sat, 31 Dec 2011 05:14:34 +0000

bring your picture or idea to “sally”

pay sally. a few days later you will receive your items in the mail. get them altered. ta-da! magic.

Back to Work (Soon)

Tabitha — Fri, 30 Dec 2011 07:45:39 +0000

as winter break comes to an end, i feel like there’s a ton of stuff to do! again! gah, the joy of paid unemployment. i should get cracking. i think i can finish marking one test in a reasonable amount of time.

on a side note, i thought this song was cleverly written. hello alone… again.

Magical

Tabitha — Wed, 28 Dec 2011 17:22:55 +0000

just over a week ago i brought a picture of a nice dress to shenzen with me. with a friend, we sought out a tailor. she measured me, looked at the dress, took my money, and said, “we’ll send it to you.” um, okay lady, you just took my money and i’m supposed to wait for this dress? i supposed there wasn’t much else to do other than to trust her. while at home bumming around, i got a knock on my door. i answered to a nice delivery guy with my dress. amazing! how did they do that? it needs to be tailored a bit, but man, that was cheap and efficient. you bring pictures or samples (or even ideas) of what you like and they shape it to your body. will post pictures once i get it altered.

you know what else would be magical? if mister so-and-so would just come out and say that he does or doesn’t like me. just sayin’. (actually writing about my dress was only a decoy to write about him. oh someone shoot me now.)

Brother

Tabitha — Tue, 27 Dec 2011 06:57:53 +0000

you know, i really really really appreciate tim. i know that he’s not always around, but i know that if he is, he’ll do his best to help me out. whenever i’m looking for a friend, i don’t need to be scared to call him up. i know that i can bribe him with food. i know that i can make fun of him and he’ll take it well. talking with him today, he finally admits to having “peter pan” syndrome, but i love it. his heart heals easily and he loves joking around. i suppose this is the superficial side to him, but that’s okay. maybe that’s like me too – taking things lightly, though there’s a lot of processing that goes on underneath. i am super thankful for my big brother. he’s such a nerd.

Christmas in Hong Kong

Tabitha — Mon, 26 Dec 2011 13:50:25 +0000

despite the feelings of homesickness at first, it turned out to be quite a good Christmas. i think having it fall on a sunday was good, because many of my friends then had monday and tuesday off as well. so on the 23rd i had a small group gathering at night, the 24th i stayed home with my roommate to bake cupcakes for the community, the 25th i went to a friend’s house for lunch that extended until dinner then went out for dinner with a friend and then went to see other friends, and the 26th i had lunch with friends then met up with a friend at night. not too shabby! on top of that, because my older sister came to hong kong, my family sent a ton of gifts with her. so blessed. i loved opening gifts and hanging out with friends. on top of that, i think the news of going home at chinese new years is also exciting. all in all i think it’s a good way to end 2011.

Excerpt from The Little Prince

Tabitha — Sun, 18 Dec 2011 13:01:31 +0000

i wanted to write a blog post explaining my thoughts and feelings about this blurb, but i think it can all but summed up with “this is dedicated to all my close friends and my future husband.” i love you.

“good morning,” he said.

he was standing before a garden, all a-bloom with roses.

“good morning,” said the roses.

the little prince gazed at them. they all loked like his flower.

“who are you?” he demanded, thunderstruck.

“we are roses,” the roses said.

and he was overcome with sadness. his flower has told him that she was the only one of her kind in all the universe. and here were five thousand of them, all alike, in one single garden!

“she would be very much annoyed,” he said to himself, “if she could see that… she would cough most dreadfully, and she would pretend that she was dying, to avoid being laughed at. and i should be obliged to pretend that i was nursing her back to life – for if i did not do that, to humble myself also, she would really allow herself to die…”

then he went on with his reflections: “i thought that i was rich, with a flowers that was unique in all the world; and all i had was a common rose. a common rose, and three volcanoes that come up to my knees – and one of them perhaps extinct forever… that doesn’t make me a very great prince…”

and he lay down in the grass and cried.

—————————————————————————-

it was then that the fox appeared.

“good morning,” said the fox.

“good morning,” the little prince responded politely, although when he turned around he saw nothing.

“i am right here,” the voice said, “under the apple tree.”

“who are you?” asked the little prince, and added, “you are very pretty to look at.”

“i am a fox,” the fox said.

“come and play with me,” proposed the little prince. “i am so unhappy.”

“i cannot play with you,” the fox said. “i am not tamed.”

“ah! please excuse me,” said the little prince.

but after some thought, he added:

“what does that mean – ‘tame’ ? “

“you do not live here,” said the fox. “what is it that you are looking for?”

“i am looking for men,” said the little prince. “what does that mean – ‘tame’ ? “

“men,” said the fox. “they have guns, and they hunt. it is very disturbing. they also raise chickens. these are their only interests. are you looking for chickens?”

“no,” said the little prince. “i am looking for friends. what does that mean – ‘tame’ ?”

“it is an act too often neglected,” said the fox. “it means to establish ties.”

” ‘to establish ties’ ? “

“just that,” said the fox. “to me, you are still nothing more than a little boy who is just like a hundred thousand other little boys. and i have no need of you. and you, on your part, have no need of me. to you, i am nothing more than a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. but if you tame me, then we shall need each other. to me, you will be unique in all the world. to you, i shall be unique in all the world…”

“i am beginning to understand,” said the little prince. “there is a flower… i think she has tamed me…”

“it is possible,” said the fox. “on the earth one sees all sorts of things.”

“oh, but this is not on the earth!” said the little prince.

the fox seemed perplexed, and very curious.

“on another planet?”

“yes.”

“are there hunters on that planet?”

“no.”

“ah, that is interesting! are there chickens?”

“no.”

“nothing is perfect,” sighed the fox.

but he came back to his idea.

“my life is very monotonous,” he said. “i hunt chickens; men hunt me. all the chickens are just alike, and all men are just alike. and, in consequence, i am a little bored. but if you tame me, it will be as if the sun came to shine on my life. i shall know the sound of a step that will be different from all the others. other steps send me hurrying back underneath the ground. yours will call me, like music, out of my burrow. and then look: you see the grain-fields down yonder? i do not eat bread. wheat is of no use to me. the wheat fields have nothing to say to me. and that is sad. but you have hair that is the colour of gold. think how wonderful that will be when you have tamed me! the grain, which is also golden, will bring me back the thought of you. and i shall love to listen to the wind in the wheat…”

the fox gazed at the little prince, for a long time.

“please – tame me!” he said.

“i want to, very much,” the little prince replied. “but i have not much time. i have friends to discover, and a great many things to understand.”

“one only understands the things that one tames,” said the fox. “men have no more time to understand anything. they buy things all ready made at the shops. but there is no shop anywhere where one can buy friendship, and so men have no friends any more. if you want a friend, tame me…”

“what must i do, to tame you?” asked the little prince.

“you must be very patient,” replied the fox. “first you will sit down at a little distance from me – like that – in the grass. i shall look at you out of the corner of my eye, and you will say nothing. words are the source of misunderstandings. but you will sit a little closer to me, every day…”

—————————————————————————-

so the little prince tamed to fox. and when the hour of his departure drew near -

“ah,” said the fox, “i shall cry.”

“it is your own fault,” said the little prince “i never wished you any sort of harm; but you wanted me to tame you…”

“yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“but now you are going to cry!” said the little prince.

“yes, that is so,” said the fox.

“then it has done you no good at all!”

“it has done me good,” said the fox, “because of the colour of the wheat fields.” and then he added: “go and look again at the roses. you will understand now that yours is unique in all the world. then come back to say goodbye to me, and i will make you a present of a secret.”

the little prince went away, to look again at the roses.

“you are not at all like my rose,” he said. “as yet you are nothing. no one has tamed you, and you have tamed no one. you are like my fox when i first knew him. he was only a fox like a hundred thousand other foxes. but i have made him my friend, and now he is unique in all the world.”

and the roses were very much embarrassed.

“you are beautiful, but you are empty,” he went on. “one could not die for you. to be sure, an ordinary passerby would think that my rose looked just like you – the rose that belongs to me. but in herself alone she is more important than all the hundreds of you other roses: because it is she that i have watered; because it is she that i have put under the glass globe; because it is she that i have sheltered behind the screen; because it is for her that i have killed the caterpillars (except the two or three that we saved to become butterflies); because it is she that i have listened to, when she grumbled, or boasted, or even sometimes when she said nothing. because she is my rose.”

and he went back to meet the fox.

“goodbye,” he said.

“goodbye,” said the fox. “and now here is my secret, a very simple secret: it is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye.”

“what is essential is invisible to the eye,” the little prince repeated, so that he would be sure to remember.

“it is the time you have wasted for your rose that makes your rose so important.”

“it is the time i have wasted for my rose – ” said the little prince, so that he would be sure to remember.